Strange love

I was talking to a friend of mine and she was planning marry some friend of hers. I was obviously disappointed... one more female snatched away..

I went and checked his profile on facebook and realized that he had spent half his life clicking his pics... different poses.. different hair styles.. beard styles.. the few strands of hair that were struggling to erupt out of his face were carefully crafted by our very own Hussain saab....

I should buy a camera...

Ringa ringa ringa

I desperately want to document this..

"HJDFJSD $&Y*&E&*HBFKBQJknkiwdjbfhyuegr8n e7yt235s ve7y8i7bn 735789y fkdbgdhg 975y erhierukgt7yernk bvkthrui76ignkv erguehui75j jldghi7856"


get it!

More filth

I am seriously disappointed with the friends I made during engineering. I guess I should be disappointed with myself. I was immature. I also know that I would probably say the same thing 10 years from now, may be even on my death bed but that is not the point.

I am disappointed with the mass immaturity that plagues this world. When I write this, I probably do understand that my opinions could be biased considering all that I’ve just heard.

I see filth again.

I am not taking a decision in anger. With effect from now, I have one friend less.

Beer+Vodka+someone's left over daaru+i guess.. ash+adulterated champagne+more beer+lotsa random liquids+i somehow reached home..

"Never again", were the first two words that came to my head after I got up today morning... correction…tried getting up.. after a 15 hour sleep, tried walking to the bathroom.. tried banging my head.. err... no... banged my head against a wall.. fell to the floor.. and slept off..

"Never again" were the two words that came to my head before I lost consciousness again....

A very short story

I am trying to write a short story but I don’t know how to go about it. I need a start. I try hard to think of all my experiences and filter one that will give me my first few lines. I rummage through my head but all I can see is a banner which says “all my experiences” – white characters on a black background.

I try harder. I look at the ceiling and then wonder why I did that. Was I seeking God’s help or did I do it because my neck hurts? I don’t believe in god so it must be because my neck hurts. I look up again, this time consciously and I realize my neck does hurt a little.

I realize I am too distracted to write a short story. I decide to get myself some coffee as it helps me concentrate. I come back and start reading Foucault – Politics, philosophy and culture – with utmost concentration. Hmm… nice coffee…

Grey

I have become fat with the filth I've accumulated over the years. Filth that is now mixing with the good in me. As it takes over me, I just sit and wait for the inevitable - one more corrupt person the world will have to deal with.

It is difficult to be disconnected from this filth. You can fight it but it slowly seeps in through those pores. Either be strong and resist it, take the brunt of being good or take the easy way out - become filth.

Do i see good today? Yes, muffled good. Chaotic good. Good that is fighting for space. Will it succeed? Will there be absolute good? Absolute filth?

Can anyone be black or white or will we all be grey?

Winning - what is it?

I've slowly started to believe that life is about trade-offs. One can't just have it all. You work hard towards getting something and miss out on a lot in the process.

If this is true, isn't anything that we do futile. What is the point of fighting for something when after winning, you've actually lost on all the other counts. You just can't have everything and the sooner you realize it, the more content you would be.

Over the last two months, I have opened up. I am not ashamed to face my thoughts. However, somehow while consciously trying to do that, I feel the voice from within that has always guided me has become more subdued. I was running too fast and I missed out on a few things. I missed out on me.

I need to slow down, be more patient towards people who care about Shiva and not hush their opinions. I should rely less on logic because the world around is too complicated to be understood with logic. I need my instinct.. I need that voice... I need to live... and "live" is not what I see around me... Live is what I feel is right...not what I think is right...