Arrogance

When I was jobless, I had to continuously remind myself of my strengths. I kept telling myself that I am good and hope is just around the corner. Serious bouts of depression were constantly pushed back by self praise.

Now, after I've finally found a job, I somehow still keep reminding myself that I am good. Unfortunately, I think I'm going overboard with it. I now need to tighten the noose on my urge to praise myself. I have a job now.

I now need to study further or do something more productive and stop living in fools paradise.

0. Quit smoking.
1. Try to talk to my boss and ask him to adjust my package as per industry standards.
2. If this doesn't work, look for a job.
3. Give my violin 1 hour everyday. Not more. not less.
4. Be nice to people. The world isn't as bad as I think it is.
5. Jog everyday.
6. Be nice to people.
7. Start planning my finances.
8. Look for options to study further.
9. Read 1 book per month.
10. Learn something new everyday.

Will add stuff here as and when it comes to my mind.

Chicken

I think tandoori chicken is good and therefore it is my deep rooted desire to turn into one. However, I wouldn't like to be burnt. So, i have just turned into a chicken..

masked by human flesh...

Albert Einstein

When you see someone who turns a blind eye to all the love he receives and recognizes himself with the pain around... he is someone who has lost faith in humanity... give him more love...

You have two options when you find such a guy...

1. He may look strong on the outside but you can take advantage of him. He is vulnerable.
2. Give him all the love. Don't disown him.
err...
3. Call him gay.

The Chuckle

I'm staring at the ceiling of my plush single room apartment. It has four walls, a beautiful white ceiling, a tiled floor and a suitcase filled with clothes. I lie flat on the floor to make my ceiling-watching experience more comfortable. What more could I ask for? I have everything. I am certainly not one of those losers - those idiots. I just need one more thing.

At least, that is what people would think if there were any around. Commoners will not realize that the ceiling-watching is just a hoax. I am in fact having a very intellectual debate with my friends, my thoughts. I am in my room, undisturbed by my thoughts. How could I afford to have them disturb me, they are the only ones with voices around me. They are my only friends. On second thoughts, if I go by the definition of a friend, even my thoughts aren't really my friends. True friends don't judge you. They know you and resign to accept you, usually owing to a lack of choice.

Not my thoughts though. They've not given up yet, despite knowing that they are my prisoners for life. Right now, I am having a heated discussion with one such friend and none of us is ready to budge. "She's just playing with you. You're her puppet. You are weak and she knows that.", it says. I take a deep breath and gather words to put across my point. "All-she-needs-err--needs--is-that-ring.. I-can-buy-it-for-her... just-a-small-loan.."

I suddenly hear a muted chuckle. I look around and realize it is a friend, trying to do a “you-are-an-idiot" act. I ignore him. My muffled words had somehow convinced me and I felt realistically optimistic. "Just a ring and she'll be mine!" I go to a bank, the best actually, request them for a loan, run to a jeweler next to my house and pick the biggest ring. I ask him to wrap it in delicate red satin. "It is for someone special", I say while putting up the best possible smile.

I return home smiling at every passing soul, even the dogs. I look at the ceiling again but somehow my friends seem to have gone out. I just hear one voice, my own. "I'll call her first thing in the morning. She needs to see what I've bought for her", and on that note I lazily fall into emptiness. I sleep like every content man does when he's achieved something on a particular day.

I wake up to a bright sunny day. People seem happier.

One ring..two..three.. "Hello Raghav"! It was the sweetest voice I had heard and the brightest face I had seen. I was standing in front of her house, staring right into her face. My rehearsed hand seemed to reach deep into my pocket. Why did they seem deeper than usual? My hand dived in deep again with more resolve, fetched that red box and gave it to her. Not a word said, melancholic silence followed. After what felt like a few beautiful years, her face lit up and she chuckled, "Hey! My engagement was a secret, a family affair! But I'm so glad you are here now! By the way, what did you get me?"

My long lost friends, my thoughts, suddenly appeared out of nowhere and were chuckling in unison.

Strange love

I was talking to a friend of mine and she was planning marry some friend of hers. I was obviously disappointed... one more female snatched away..

I went and checked his profile on facebook and realized that he had spent half his life clicking his pics... different poses.. different hair styles.. beard styles.. the few strands of hair that were struggling to erupt out of his face were carefully crafted by our very own Hussain saab....

I should buy a camera...

Ringa ringa ringa

I desperately want to document this..

"HJDFJSD $&Y*&E&*HBFKBQJknkiwdjbfhyuegr8n e7yt235s ve7y8i7bn 735789y fkdbgdhg 975y erhierukgt7yernk bvkthrui76ignkv erguehui75j jldghi7856"


get it!

More filth

I am seriously disappointed with the friends I made during engineering. I guess I should be disappointed with myself. I was immature. I also know that I would probably say the same thing 10 years from now, may be even on my death bed but that is not the point.

I am disappointed with the mass immaturity that plagues this world. When I write this, I probably do understand that my opinions could be biased considering all that I’ve just heard.

I see filth again.

I am not taking a decision in anger. With effect from now, I have one friend less.